Thursday, 9 May 2013

To Surname or not to Surname, that is the question?

As you may know if you've been reading recently, Neb's brother and g/f had their first baby boy on May 4th. He has not been called Yoda but if he had it may have made the other big thing not so much of a big thing.

My husband has an odd old family name. It means frost but if you heard it you would think oh my a lady of the night! I chose to take it as being a Jones I was common enough here in Wales. You can't call my name common any more and now I have a surname which raises a smile and a nod wherever I go.

As his bro and g/f are not married, the baby has been given her maiden name. Which has rocked the boat as far as Neb and his parents are concerned. The family name has been kept as one of the middle names but Neb is not happy. He is upset that the line will end with him and his brother.

This got me thinking, is it really that much to worry about. Should they not be happy that he is now a father and will love and dote on the little boy for the rest of his life. After talking to some super bloggers on Facebook, I note that the law has now changed, no longer does not having the fathers surname mean that you have no parental responsibility.

The law is complicated on this matter. Fathers with children born (or whose birth is registered) after 1 December 2003 and whose name appears on the birth certificate have parental rights and responsibilities. But fathers who fall outside this criteria may face a nasty shock.

You will not have the right to have contact with the children, to see them regularly, to have them to stay with you, to take them on holiday and will not be legally entitled to do the things you once took for granted such as going to school parent's evenings, consenting to medical treatment or even signing the forms to allow your 17 year-old to join the Army.

Should the child be marred by the surname, while thinking about this last night I realised that my sister in law, whom I don't really get on with has made her name double barrelled and kept her name as well as taken the Jones on. I don't think the kids are double barrelled but if so, it doesn't make them posh!
Should my husband and family worry about the family line? Is it not better to be happy that all are well with the grandchildren. And as I pointed out to Neb, who knows if marriage will be the IN thing when and if the girls marry (though Car has noted that she has married a friend's son and Neb recently).

If you have any thoughts, please feel free to comment below. I'm quite happy to go and see my new nephew and not to get wound up about things and I hope that Neb will also realise that it is only a name!