Legs open


I'm sat here listening to the kids eat breakfast and wonder if I smell , you know down there. And whether I have to go to the doctors today. Whether I can get out of it.

There are several things I dislike and high among them is having a s, a sm.. a s m e a r. There I said it, I don't think I've had one since before getting pregnant with Car and she's 4. I don't know what it is about them but I don't like going. I mean you'd think that after having two kids and endless people at the mine shaft, so to speak, you'd think that one more thing happening down there I'd be fine with.

So need to get the kids dressed, Car still eating breakfast and now I'm thinking I just better give myself a quick wash down there. Just in case, I mean you don't want to present a smelly one to the nurse do you. (not that it is smelly!)

Neb takes Bel to school and then promises he'll come back to take me to the doctors surgery. Am feeling sick - though do manage to eat some toast. Have great conversation with Car about what the difference between boys and girls are - she now thinks that boys have sausage fw fw's (vagina) and us girls have flat ones.

Neb parks car and we walk down to surgery. Am feeling sick now. Give name to receptionist and sit down to wait my turn.

Get called in, Nurse Janet is lovely and is filling in paperwork while we chat. She thanks me for coming (I missed the last one) and notes that my last check was 6yrs ago (OOPS). Have a laugh about why this scares me and she also says everyman and dog has been down there to look at one point or other (during pregnancy and birth)

Take coat off, trousers and knickers (panic as wearing a gstring!), thank god for long top, lie on bed and cover myself with towelling for dignity (REALLY!)
Nurse Janet cranks the bed up, shoves lamp towards my front bottom and asks me to bend knees and flop legs. Out comes instrument of torture. Goes in and then comes out as she realises its not going to reach cervix due to my height. Looks around for larger one (great!) and up it goes again. Gets it in place but now cervix seems to be playing hide and seek. She asks me to  put hands under bottom to tilt it and then with a gasp of I can see it, she plunges in.
Painful as samples are taken and then its done. All that worry and its over in 10 minutes.

Have a chat about when results are going to be back,talk about self examining breasts and then done.

I know that am not the only one that puts it off but when you read facts that round 1,000 women die of cervical cancer in UK each year you know you shouldn't put it off Even though the smear is just a cervical screening test and will not give a final diagnosis it is better to have it than not.. Below is a lovely little chart (from Jo's Trust) which shows you why you need to be screened and what happens to the sample afterwards:

So, if your due one don't do what I've done for the last few years and go without, be brave and go and get one done. If it helps you can always ask for the lights to be dimmed pre check and let your mind wander.


Remeber if you, a loved one or a friend has been diagnosed with cervical cancer there is a fantastic trust called Jo's Trust which can offer support, information and friendship

UPDATED: After a great comment (see below), I've decided to add a linky to this post. So if you have a smear story to tell, either good or bad then join in. Getting a smear is not something any of us enjoy but if we can persuade more people to get them done then our lives can all be happier.