Parental Pressure

I read today (during my lunch hour, the lap top is still misbehaving and Dell want £50 for a new charger!!)  that us parents are putting pressure on each other to spend, spend, spend when providing for our children.

The figure given in the article says that raising a child up to the age of 21 totals more than £210,000.

I am in shock, and the shock continues when I read further down.

The article continues with the fact that 30% of this is spent on baby and nursery goods - now I'm aware that there is always the" in pushchair/pram and buggy" but would I spend £1,200 on one - um no, I was lucky my dad bought ours and it was only about £150, and it was a travel system with car seat as part of  so I didn't shell out extra for car seat and the system has been fine for both girls.

The article notes that there is also a large demand these days for nursery furniture, something our girls have never had. The cot (which again has lasted both of them) is the only item of nursery furniture we had (which was bought my in-laws), the only other item we had was an old chest of drawers that I painted turquoise (it used to be in my room when a child)  and put Winnie The Pooh handles on it. Both girls also had WTP pictures (£1 each from charity shop), some glow in the dark stars and while being a tad creative Car has a picture of Peppa Pig on her wall (cost £2 for canvas!).


What is even more shocking is that 1/5 of all parents have bought a TV for their baby's room (yes that's right baby! or 0-4 as stated). A TV, really! I find that just disgraceful and so wrong - that just can't be me.

So what is driving this urge to spend, the expert quoted in the article says that many parents are living "actively through the way their children appear". But why, why do we need the feel to do this, are we pressurizing each other to do so.

If you are a parent to be, let me stress to you now, how important it is to get the big things from your family and friends. They will all want to help in some way and even  if its a hand me down* at least you know it has been cared for. Let them buy expensive gifts, let them share the burden.

 I am lucky as many of the clothes and toys that my girls have are either presents or loved me downs (I think a better word than hand me down). Even now, with Bel getting older we have been lucky to get some really nice (and sometimes never worn) clothes. I don't feel that I need to live through my child and because of the way we try and live, they are not allowed to have everything they want. To enjoy time together, happily as a family surely is more important than spending money at an alarming rate.

There are somethings in my children's life which I will spend the money on, eg their education (lets all have fingers crossed that £9,000 fees may be scrapped by the time mine are old enough but designer goodies, spoiling them with money rather than love - Nah not me.

BNM

* BNM recommends that you shouldn't buy a second hand car seat

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