Can you hear me?
No, honestly if you can't then please tell me is it because I talk too quietly, if I'M SHOUTING can you hear me now? You can, good.
Can you tell me why my kids can't, why I have to ask them about a thousand times do to one thing and when eventually when I do get an answer its a NO! WTF!!!!
I feel like I'm turning into a shouty mum, not a happy mum who plays with her kids. I don't want to ask them to do anything because they just ignore me. AND then to make things worse, Neb asks them to do something and they do it - just like that!!
I just feel like crying, why am I feeling like this - I may as well just stay in work and let them all get on with it without me!
BNM
Can you tell me why my kids can't, why I have to ask them about a thousand times do to one thing and when eventually when I do get an answer its a NO! WTF!!!!
I feel like I'm turning into a shouty mum, not a happy mum who plays with her kids. I don't want to ask them to do anything because they just ignore me. AND then to make things worse, Neb asks them to do something and they do it - just like that!!
I just feel like crying, why am I feeling like this - I may as well just stay in work and let them all get on with it without me!
BNM
I can hear you, very clearly. It happens in this house every day. Dogs, child, husband. I refuse to get a goldfish.
ReplyDeleteCJ xx
Thanks CJ, the only times that any of them listen to me is when I mention food - you can hear them all go me, me (even the cats and guinea pig)!
ReplyDeleteYep, I get the same, my 5yr old is particularly good at completely ignoring me even when I'm right in front of me. It's like he looks through me rather than at me sometimes! >_<
ReplyDeleteThis also happens in this house every single day. I wish I knew the cure.
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher, and don't think I'm knocking parents here because I'm not, I have to teach children to listen. To listen and have children listen to you; you must have a quiet home/classroom. There has to be a listening time and the best way to teach children this, is at the meal table where parents sit with their children. They need to be taught that one person speaks at a time, that others wait their turn to speak and reply politely and appropriately. In a busy world, parents find this difficult but it's vital that you teach them to listen to and follow your instructions. As teachers, we can tell the children who have been instructed in 'manners'. Also children need to taught silence when others are talking, it's good manners as is turn taking. Also, parents need to teach children that there is a consequence for not doing what their parents tell them to do. It's tough, but you will have better behaved children, who behave better at school, who will learn more, because you have taught them to listen. The biggest behavioural problems that teachers face in our schools is lack of manners when children will not listen. So often, it's not the child's fault because their parents haven't taught them how to do this from a very early age. No offence to any parents as I live in the real world, where we are stressed and busy but we should be teaching our children manners in our homes and not waiting for schools to do it. xxxx
ReplyDeleteSorry, did you say something?
ReplyDeleteI have to kneel in front of both mine at times, and ask them to look at my face, listen and then ask them to do things, while trying to say it quietly. I discovered our biggest problem was I would ask them to do things, then get shouty, then DH would decided to join in and say right do it NOW, otherwise there wont be TV or games etc. Thing is he was totally undermining me, they wouldnt do anything until their dad jumped in, so I had to tell him to stop, and now are learning to respect me. I now ask, ask again and then say, If I have to ask a third time boys and start counting, then theres no pudding or TV etc.
ReplyDeleteI go with the teacher's advice above. Learning to listen respectfully is important - not interrupting when you're speaking,agreeing to do something that is reasonably requested (it will be bedtime in 30 mins so the toys need to go away so that you can have a bath and your bedtime story) and all that. It is a two way street as well; we used to try to eat meals together whenever possible and, at dinner, tell each other about our day. We had to learn to listen respectfully to them as well. I remember the mortification when I interrupted my small son. He stopped patiently and said "Mummy, please don't interrupt when I'm speaking. You'll have your turn in a moment". i think he was about 6.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel crap about it. We're all learning about parenthood all the time - even after nearly 30 years.
Mad x
I know how you feel. When I feel like that, after a while I decide I've had enough and they're now going to LISTEN and they spend ages on the naughty chair, which makes me feel even more like a witch - it's too hard sometimes being the mum at home, which is like background noise really - always there and never listened to.
ReplyDeleteOh girl, you and I are living in the same place (LOL figuratively, of course) except with little males running around instead of females. My boys listen to me about 1% of the time unless I am HOWLING about something, then instantly go do what Dad says. I feel like the wind. I've started taking away privileges left and right and it's helped some. Thank God I color my hair because I'm sure it's so grey it's clear.
ReplyDelete