Power Struggle
No, not that one
This one. the one we are having here at home with the girls:
Bel (6) has now decided that she doesn't like bread unless its crusty onion bread but won't touch any other kind. She's even gone off tortilla wraps (unless fried with cheese!). As you can imagine this makes designing her lunchboxes very hard - I sent her off to today with a tuna mayo salad in a pot! We have asked her why she won't eat the bread and she says its the soggyness of it!
Since the bread saga has started I've also had some worrying comments from her:
"I look fat - look at my thighs Mummy"
" I think I need to lose weight"
What should I do? I'm trying to get her to eat bread by buying onion bread and the such but I don't want her to think she's fat. I've tried asking her why she thinks she is, whose been telling her and all I get is nothing. It seems that my little girl doesn't want to tell her mummy and I feel sad.
The other struggle we have is Car (2). She is become so bossy and turned round and bit me on the cheek the other day. Bless her Bel is such a sensitive little girl that she won't say don't to Car but runs to me or Neb to say that Car has done something. I've asked her not to do this and to stand up to her but so far this isn't working as Car will just ignore her. I also seem not to be getting through to Car - I know its the terrible two's but seem to be not getting anywhere...
AAGH
BNMx
This one. the one we are having here at home with the girls:
Bel (6) has now decided that she doesn't like bread unless its crusty onion bread but won't touch any other kind. She's even gone off tortilla wraps (unless fried with cheese!). As you can imagine this makes designing her lunchboxes very hard - I sent her off to today with a tuna mayo salad in a pot! We have asked her why she won't eat the bread and she says its the soggyness of it!
Since the bread saga has started I've also had some worrying comments from her:
"I look fat - look at my thighs Mummy"
" I think I need to lose weight"
What should I do? I'm trying to get her to eat bread by buying onion bread and the such but I don't want her to think she's fat. I've tried asking her why she thinks she is, whose been telling her and all I get is nothing. It seems that my little girl doesn't want to tell her mummy and I feel sad.
The other struggle we have is Car (2). She is become so bossy and turned round and bit me on the cheek the other day. Bless her Bel is such a sensitive little girl that she won't say don't to Car but runs to me or Neb to say that Car has done something. I've asked her not to do this and to stand up to her but so far this isn't working as Car will just ignore her. I also seem not to be getting through to Car - I know its the terrible two's but seem to be not getting anywhere...
AAGH
BNMx
Wow, 6, I did a post about this recently after watching Supernanny interviewing 6,9,12 year old girls they ALL wanted to be thinner. They are bombarded by 'models' (the ideal woman) pictures of really skinny models. They have come to be imprinted that this image of the woman is the desirable and to be attained one. There is a serious lack of ordinary sized role models, look at all the celebrities even Sophie Dahl sold out in the end everyone wants to be a thinner version of the themselves. The whole Bratz thing lollipop heads and stick bodies doesn't help. All you can do is to try and dilute the beanpole images with healthy ordinary people enjoying life, being successful and desirable. Make an effort to praise healthy looking people in front of her, ultimately you influence her, use it as best you can. As for the biting they all go through phases my son was slapping, some pinch, some bite. It's frustation and they haven't found other ways of expressing themselves yet.
ReplyDeleteGirls in my sons class are making the same comments, so their mothers tell me. They were all weighed as part of a maths class, learning about weights, and apparently it has brought out some insecurities. Unfortunately the heaviest girl is getting a bit of flak for it. Am stunned that 8 year olds are behaving like this. It is worrying that Bel is making those comments, I hope you can get to the bottom of it. Jen.
ReplyDeleteoh bless :(
ReplyDeleteDo you have a breadmaker? If not, invest in one - you can make small-ish loaves (or cut in half and freeze one half) and make her her own onion bread - or cheese bread or whatever she wants to put in it.
Oh my goodness, this does make me feel for you. Body image, eating disorders - it all seems to get much younger these days, and seems to be particularly true of girls. As a mother of 2 girls it does worry me. I suppose these things can only come from school - could you talk to her teacher about it? It might be something innocent like them having spoken about healthy eating recently, or do you think she might be getting teased by other children? Sorry not to be much help, but hope it blows over for you. x
ReplyDeleteI have similar problems with Bog Boy bullying his elder brother who is a sensitive little chap too. I say ignore Bog Boy and don't play with him when he doews this and believe it or not this usually brings Bog Boy to heel pretty quick. As for being fat etc as one who had bulimia keep a whether eye on it but say little for now expcept to try and get her to focus on other areas of her life and the things she enjoys doing to help build her confidence up.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me so sad. One of the big reasons i was *relieved* to have had boys. just nt sure how i would tackle this one.
ReplyDeletehttp://marketingtomilk.wordpress.com
I also saw that Supernanny programme when she interviewed the children, all the girls they focused on who not only wanted to be thinner, also viewed themselves as bigger than they were, even the 6 year olds. They had a photo taken which was digitally altered to show them in thinner states and fatter states. They all picked the thinnest image as the nicest and at least 1 size larger when asked which was their actual size. They did only focus on the girls who felt like this, right at the end of the programme, almost as a after thought it did say 50% of the girls were fine with their body image. Still incredibly worrying though but the bit I found most interesting was when supernanny was looking through magazines with them, not only did they all like the 'oh so natural, no airbrushing for me' models, when discussing food they all commented on their mum's or aunties etc saying things like 'don't take a photo of me in this, it makes me look fat' or 'how do these jeans look, do they make my thighs look big, do they suit me?' or a mum saying 'oh god, look at my belly' when her and her daughter were looking at holiday pics on the beach. It really made me think, I don't have a problem with my weight, yes I have my wobbly bits and bits I don't like and hide, who doesn't, even thin people do, but I do watch what I eat and I do try and do some firm of exercise and up to that point, if one of my boys had said mummy why aren't you having chips as well, I would always be honest and say because mummy doesn't want to get fat, or we all put clothes on which don't make us feel good and again I'll often change after looking in the mirror and sat to my DH, must be on a fat day today, didn't like that. All very innocent comments which some little ones are picking up on. When the mothers were shown what the kids had said they were mortified that little comments they had made, had made such an impact on their daughters. Don't get me wrong I'm not suggesting this is what's happened with Bel, but it makes you realize these comments are all around us, even on children's TV, Fizz from Tweenies asked Jake if she looked fat in her dress, it's everywhere. You are a sound, level headed person, and I know you'll guide Bel in the right direction, hopefully it's just a phase, with an understanding that eating healthily and being active will keep her thin she should be OK. Good luck xx
ReplyDeleteHow sad that girls that young are now worrying about their weight - there definitely has to be some correlation between the whole celebrity-diet-magazine culture. What will the pressure be like for them when they become teenagers and the bitchiness really starts? I've a daughter too and it freaks me out that we'll probably have the same worries in a few years x
ReplyDelete