Liar, Liar, Pants on fire!!
I don't lie to my children, honestly I don't ... well maybe just a little bit...or more...AAGH
According to a recent survey by a leading female insurance company (see here), parents (yes , you) lie to their children 100 times a year.
This got me thinking (not really a good idea on a Monday) what small lies do I tell my children.
- There's the white lie about tomato soup being invisible Bob the builder soup to get Bel to eat it when she was younger.
- The even smaller lie that I use to get Car to go to sleep... but upsy daisy's sleeping listen, can you hear her snoring (I think that may be classed as blackmail too!oops!)
- Of course fairies, ghosts, Santa and your imaginary friend (Roger) are real Bel.
- If you cross the road without looking a car will come and squish you flat as a pancake (its worked so far!!)
- Don't put your fingers in your mouth because they will shrink (this is a white lie that has been passed from my father who used to say it when I sucked my thumb!)
BNMx
if you pull faces the wind will change and make it stick...
ReplyDeleteIf you tell a fib, you get white spots on your tongue. Says me lying as I say it! Love this post!! x
ReplyDeleteam just checking my tongue and I think its covered in white spots... !!
ReplyDeleteBNMx
First one that came to my mind was the wind changing so will have to scour my brain for another now. Hmmm, does 'babies come out of my bellybutton' count? Not sure as you HAVE to lie about that for a good number of years or risk traumatising the children!! :) Jen.
ReplyDeleteLook its still dark outside, it is definatley not time to get up -accept that one is not going to last long now as I noticed this morning there was a definate lighter tinge to the sky.
ReplyDeleteYou have got to have a bath at night before bed, as the fairies come and check you every night and blow nice, exciting dreams into your room, and wont like it if you are smelly - so far this works a treat!
God I think I am not going to heaven as I can think of a number of things, opppss
Well if "they" wanted me to know I was supposed to tell him the truth all the bleeding time they should have made the placenta multitask as an instruction manual then, shouldn't they.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I supposed to say?
"Yes cauliflower tastes like fart and and no you won't suddenly have more muscles than Popeye, nor will you sprout up an inch and a half three seconds after consumption, but it is part of dinner so eat it anyway"
Honesty would lead to rickets, scurvy and similar.
In my defense I don't just lie to him. My husband is still under the impression that the bathroom has to be retiled because of a vicious grout infection that threatens the very fabric of the house and nothing to at all to do with my loathing of dirge grey ceramic with depressed flowers embossed on it.
After nearly a decade doing this mummy thing I am getting a bit fed up with some faceless git somewhere having sadistic fun trying to guilt trip us into throwing all the "it works fairly well, most of the time and gets me through the day without resorting to gin" tools out of our parenting shed and handing us instead their preferred chocolate spanner and a tiny spun sugar chisel to take their place.
I notice they scuttle off back into their lair quick enough when you ask them to back up their "does irreparable damage", "fosters magnificent parental/filial relationships" claims with data from solid, peer reviewed, blinded, large scale studies.
The b....askets.
(goes to check calendar scratching head and wondering if now also suffers from post MT as well as the pre variety)
How about the tooth fairy? And the "I have eyes in the back of my head and that is why I saw you sneak that cookie?" Or the, I will always know what you are thinking because I am your mother?
ReplyDeleteIf I thought about this long enough I'm sure I could come up with a whole list of "untruths" that I've told Man-Child over the years . . .
Many - there are no vegetables in that sauce / I'm not eating any chocolate / Look at the clock, it's bed time (about an hour earlier than normal).
ReplyDeletei could go on and on!
Oh goodness, I make a new lie up every day! Of course we have the Santa one; in my house ghosts are not a lie though, so that can get a little confusing!
ReplyDeleteCJ xx
My main ones tend to be that all of Joseph's school friends will be eating their dinner, be fast asleep, be having a poo on the toilet, getting dressed etc... Knowing full well that they are probably leading their poor mothers a merry dance as well...
ReplyDeleteWhen the ice cream van plays music it means he's sold out of ice cream!
ReplyDeleteMy mum used to tell me about pulling faces and the wind changing too.
The latest thing I've told one of my kids that might not exactly be truth is, I told my youngest (4) that a monster I made from a recycled sweater and appliqued a heart on is a special, magic monster that scares away bad dreams. This was told to keep that little sheet-stealing, kicking, bed-pee-er in his own bed. Mom needs sleep. It makes the world a nice place. Lol... now he's all worried when he can't find the magic monster. Can you win?
ReplyDeleteLMAO at all of these. I of course am a saint and never lie. (oops was that a lie I just told?)
ReplyDeleteI'm a great believer in lying to children and wouldn't be able to get through the day without a few little white fluffy ones...no there are no vegetables in your spagbol...yes of course I was paying attention to your battle plan involving the tranformers, the power rangers and your entire collection of matchbox cars...
ReplyDeleteOh I love those Little White Lies..
ReplyDeleteLittle Man gets told that 'Jim Crow' or his brother 'Jack Crow' are on the roof tops watching him being naughty, and he will then fly to Nanny's and tell her..
Oh, and his 'bits' will drop off if he keeps touching it... lol.
Beth
If you bite your nails, you fingers will fall off!
ReplyDelete